SP was really stoned most of the weekend, and he was really needy. he claimed I kept disappearing for hours and why didn't I want to be with him.
I NEVER complain when he wanders off and hangs around with other people, but the moment I do it, he says I'm trying to get away from him and don't want to be in his company. there were plenty of people there who are his friends and would love to spend time with him, and I had a couple of friends too that I wanted to catch up with.
At one point he came crashing into a tent that me and another friend were in, complaining that I was taking coke and that it was time for bed. I said ' you can go to bed if you like, but I'm having a good time'.
He was grabby and clingy, maybe because he was on mushrooms, and I don't mind looking after anyone if they're having an intense trip, but I was ready for bed another night, but he was tripping so couldn't go to bed, so I said plenty of other people would look after him, but he said it wanted it to be me. I said I always am there for him and always do what he wants, when he wants, now I need to take some time for myself, to honour myself and what my body feels like doing.
He seemed to understand that, but I know he will only remember that the way he perceived it in a stoned way, so I'll get accused of abandoning him no doubt.
Maybe I just should have said there and then, no I don't want to be around you 24/7, this is MY time to meet new people and have a different time, without having to follow you around. But I'm too nice to do that. Anyway, he's s dense sometimes, why would he think that I wanted to be with a person who RESENTS being in a relationship with me?
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